He Was Rejected. Then He Built a Safe Space for the Rejected (Courtesy of RICE Media)

Written by Andre Frois.

Alaric Tan has a calming aura. When you speak with the man, you can almost see his mind sprinting quietly, as if he’s weighing possibilities and choosing words with care.

Yet, beneath that calm is a story derailed by blame, rejection, and many years lost to drugs.

“I used to believe something was broken in me,” the 47-year-old says.

“But what I needed wasn’t fixing. It was safety.”

Alaric and I both attended Maris Stella, a Catholic boys’ school, so I know he’s not exaggerating when he recalls the abuse suffered by students who were different.

Seeing overweight and effeminate classmates ostracised—and sometimes even manhandled—he felt a responsibility as the head of the student council to protect them.

“I did my best to look out for everyone,” he reflects. “But when I began to feel maybe I too was different, I started feeling unsafe.”

He avoided bullies by masking his growing attraction to other boys. Yet the tension gnawed at him.

“I felt pulled in two directions: I wanted to defend the bullied, but revealing myself would make me a target.”

Self-preservation meant self-erasure. And in those hidden corners, self-loathing took root. That longing for a safe space never left him.